Tag Archives: hilarious

I like to bitch about people

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Everyone has hobbies. People like to scrap book, sew, cook, hunt, fish, collect finger nail clippings of past lovers…all the normal stuff.

A hobby that I personally hold very dear to my heart is complaining about bitches that PISS me off.

The positive people can try to argue with me and say this doesn’t qualify as a hobby. But they can suck it at this point because they have yet to live in Glendive, Montana where staring at the carpet for hours at a time trying to find patterns in it is a hobby.

Anyway, something that has been a pet peeve to me for a while is the way girls take compliments.

I don’t know how many times I’ve read/heard about situations where a guy went out of a way to tell a girl that she was pretty/beautiful/gorgeous to get the response:

“NO I’M NOOOT”

Bitch please. If a guy is taking the time to give you a compliment, then I think you shouldn’t be a dumb ass and try to fish for more.

That’s right. I have a vagina. I know what you’re up too. Knock it off.

Guys like confidence. It’s a very attractive trait to possess.Even if you aren’t confident, for the love of God pretend. It’ll start to come naturally if you fake it for a while (Yes, that’s what she said). Guys aren’t going to want to compliment girls if they think it has to be an hour long debate on the fact that you are NOT ugly.

This bitch session goes with a story of how I learned this the hard way:

Back when I was a sophomore in high school…a friend told me she was putting herself down to get compliments from a guy. I don’t like to think anything through, so I thought to myself

“Oh hey, I want to be told I’m pretty. I’m going to try that next time a guy compliments me”

A few days later, a cute boy I’d been developing a crush on for a while was texting me. He was sweet enough to tell me he thought I looked very pretty that day.

I saw it was the perfect opportunity for an ego boost. I replied “OH NO I DIDN’T. MY HAIR WAS FRIZZY. I FELT FAT. SO YEAH…NOT WHAT YOU’D CALL PRETTY”.

He decided that was a good time to tell me “Yeaaah…guys like confidence.”

So then the epiphany that I was being a dumb ass hit me. It was time to try to reverse what I’d done.

My infamous text I’ll never forget sending said the following:

“Oh no! I didn’t mean I was ugly. I think I’m pretty too. I have so much confidence. It’s almost annoying how much confidence I have. I’m probably one of the most confident people ever. No worries about that.”

It’s been three years, and I have yet to get the reply to that text. I gave up hope about seven months ago.

So take it from me, when a guy is nice to you SAY THANK YOU and maybe add that you appreciate him telling you that. So it will maybe get around the fact that girls actually LIKE it when guys are respectful.

THANKS FOR READING!!!

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