Monthly Archives: December 2010

No Hoes. Just Bitches

Standard

This….is…..my…….very….first…….blog……post…..FROM MY NEW MACBOOK.

Is it possible to be in love with an object? Cuz I’m pretty sure I want to date my computer.

I like that I can blog wherever the hell I want now. Except the roof. . . Dad, otherwise known as the dream killer, said that was off limits. (….someday).

I want to go blog in a coffee shop to be all sophisticated and shit. Unfortunatly, that’s not an option in Denton, Montana. I guess I could go to the cafe’ and blog amongst the old men drinking coffee. My computer would lead to a bitch session about technology though, and that would ruin my vibe.

Another idea is to make my mom set up the kitchen like it is a coffee shop, and make her wait on ┬áme while I typed away wearing my dad’s reading glasses to look more classy. That would probably lead to another lecture about how I need to stop acting like I’m seven. Growing up’s a bitch!

Speaking of the word bitch, someone really needs to put a limit on how much Nicki Minaj music I listen too. For some reason every time I talk I feel the need to somehow include the word in everything I say.

For example:

The other night I wanted to go hang out with my pal Kim (her mom pays me to hang out with her, but that’s beside the point at the moment). My parents had already went to bed, and when I approached their room the light was on and the door was cracked open. The Nicki Minaj attitude took over as I kicked open the door, strutted in, and loudly announced

“LISTEN UP BITCHES, I’M GOING TO KIM’S. BYE”

Anddd out I went.

Well as I stomped away I started to realize what I did, and I spun around and hauled ass back and came to a sliding stop in front of their bed and sweetly said

“Mommy, Pops…..I loooove you! Can I please go to Kim’s? (insert cheesy grin)”

Luckily, my parents are completely aware of the fact I’m a nut and didn’t even question my previous actions.

Anyway, life is WONDERFUL! =)

I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas…..bitches =)

 

 

Advertisements