The story of Mr. L the Hedgehog:
As some of you may remember, a while ago I made an impulse Craigslist purchase (very surprising for my usual ‘think things through’ attitude😳😜)…and I became the owner of a little hedgehog by the name of Mr. L. Before I purchased him, I was assured he was very friendly once he got used to you. And NO ONE lies on the internet so I did my “hedgehog bonding” research. I met the owner at a gas station where she quickly took the money out of my hand and shoved the cage in my arms without saying more than three words and drove away. It was a little weird but I didn’t put too much thought into it because I was already fascinated with the growling/huffing coming from the igloo. I drove him back to the trailer park while Maddie looked on in horror at her new little brother. When I got home, I immediately cleaned his cage and traded out the “Meow Mix” for a high quality, expensive cat food because my new friend would only have the best. I stuck an old shirt I had worn in his cage so he would bond with my scent as Wikepedia informed me would form a quick bond. I let him settle in for a day before I started handling but I knew he would be calmed down and ready to do fun photo shoots with little hats within the next few days. I was very mistaken. My in depth hedgehog research didn’t mention that it was possible I was getting the tiny minion of Satan. For over a month, he was handled every day and he got meaner as time went on. He would hiss/growl/spit and try to jump at my hands to stab me with his quills. He was a tiny Mexican jumping bean of pain and suffering. As stubborn as I am, it took me about a month and a half to admit I had made a big mistake. Maddie knew it from the start as she attempted to eat him daily. She would jump at him with her stub legs and snap her teeth to only hit her nose on his quills and take off yelping.
So now it was time to rehome him. I posted him on Craigslist sure that he would be a fast seller because who doesn’t want their very own hedgehog. Well it turns out anyone with common sense doesn’t want a satanpig as a pet. Another month went by as I tried to push him onto coworkers, family members, and friends. But the story of his little attitude had made the rounds and it seemed he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. In a desperate moment, I considered releasing him into the trailer park but feared he would breed the TP cats and start his own little army to come for his revenge (mean ally cats with quills….yikes). So to save Great Falls from being taken over by hedgecats, I decided that I was stuck with him and to make the best of it.
Finally….the text came. Someone was interested in the ad they saw on Craigslist. I was finally going to be free of the pin cushion who was stinking up my trailer.
But who the text came from was concerning.
The ORIGINAL owner was texting me saying she was looking for a hedgehog.
It took a couple of texts for me to figure out she had no idea that she was talking to the same person she had sold Satan’s lost pet too. I pride myself on being a truthful person with good morals and I may be judged by the “do-gooders” of the world ……but this was a moment of desperation….
She asked where I had gotten my hedgehog and I replied
“a pet store in Spokane”
And then when I said he was a male, she replied
“Oh good! That’s what I was looking for”
Very interesting considering she had recently sold a “friendly” male hedgehog.
We settled on a price $50 less than what I paid for him and made plans to meet up.
I knew I couldn’t roll up in my Buick and pass him off without her remembering my car and what I looked like. So I recruited a good friend to make the pass off.
Then the issue of the cage came up. I had moved him into a bigger cage but he still had the same igloo, food dish, and water bottle he had came with. I knew that would be easily recognized during the handoff but there was no way in hell I was putting more money into this little asshole.
Luckily I had some “animal hair dye” available to disguise him (I promise you it’s very safe , he was a little jerk but I would never hurt an animal). So he was dyed from white to brown so it would be easy to prove it wasn’t the same hedgehog because hedgehogs “don’t just change color”😟.
My wonderful friend was luckily a GREAT actress so during the handoff she played the roll of an expecting mother with too many pets..but very heartbroken to be giving up her sweet baby hedgehog.
The handoff was made. My friend wiped away her tears and waved as Mr. L drove away into the sunset to his “new” life.
I don’t know if it was ever discovered that the new Hedgehog was the infamous Mr. L. I’m sure eventually the dye wore off and his feisty personality shined through.